SoCal meets SoHo. Sandy beach meets urban jungle. Clothes made for suburban teenagers meets adults who couldn't care less. In July 2009, the powers that be decided to place a store for their infamous Hollister brand at the front gate of the trendiest place on Earth. And this Hollister Epic, quickly christened "epically awkward" by the NY Mag, does not disappoint. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. This post isn't concerned with the deafening music, self-made darkness, or overwhelming odor of cheap cologne emanating from the building's interior. Our focus is simply on who is paid to stand outside the entrance.
Two beautiful men grace the corner of Broadway and Houston, wearing nothing but swim trunks and a pair of flip-flops. Two beautiful men who have abs that look like you can grate cheese on them. These two beautiful men are really what makes you notice that Hollister was even allowed to have a SoHo building address in the first place. But as you pass you may or may not ask yourself: WHY DOES A CLOTHING STORE HAVE NAKED MODELS OUTSIDE? WHY CAN I NOT SEE SOME OF THE MERCHANDISE ON THESE LIVING MANNEQUINS OF PERFECTION? And lo and behold, this is the quandary of Hollister's marketing.
Hollister is obsessed with bringing the "authenticity" of Southern California wherever it goes. You don't wear clothes on the beach, so the models outside the store wear bathing suits. Everyone that goes to the beach is physical perfection, so the models all have six-packs and jawlines that could cut a diamond. These naked guys represent what the brand wants you to see. Certainly nothing original, unique, or impressive, but a classic and timeless "surfer" look that should be the same wherever you go.
But are these living advertisements effective in the way that Hollister wants them to be? Simply put, no. Putting male perfection near a storefront is "epically awkward" no matter where the store is, but especially so in the middle of New York City. The "surfers" look so strange and out of place that it's painful just to walk past them on the way to campus. Like you want to go up and say "Listen man, I'm really sorry about all of this.. but could you put a shirt on, please? It's the middle of September and it's getting a little bit chilly. Not to mention that fake suntan lotion on your nose looks ridiculous." But you would really never say that because you're in SoHo and not a mall in the suburbs of New Jersey. Because you're too busy turning your head and pretending not to see them or their abs of steel. BECAUSE HALF NAKED MEN IN THE STREET IS JUST AWKWARD FOR EVERYONE.
So listen up, HCO. Everyone understands that the quintessential, authentic, and totally awesome surfer boys and girls wear your clothes. Your brand name is synonymous with summertime. It's really not necessary to embarrass your employees (or the customers) by having these guys stand in the street to beckon for store traffic. It'll be better for all of us this way.
I completely agree with you. Hollister/ Abicrombie stores are one of those things I can easily go into a rage about. I feel that they are the very definition of trying too hard. It upsets me that on the rare occasion I actually go into one of those stores I end up walking right back out because I instantly feel to old to be in there.
ReplyDeleteYour post also shed new light on this company's (almost) entirely white image. I know they have gotten in trouble in the past with regards to discrimination in their stores and to me it seems that for whatever reason the "authentic" California look that they are going for is only for white people. Interesting..